The Nondescript Anonymous

"“Every man builds his world in his own image. He has the power to choose, but no power to escape the necessity of choice.” – Ayn Rand

Tag: stream of consciousness

An Epilogue…

I woke up with a start.

I had been dreaming…it was a nightmare. I could still see the blood stains…I could still hear her cry. It’s a dream that cripples me but it’s only a dream. And, it was perhaps the single most reason why I wanted to sleep. I wanted to get up but I was too heavy for myself… I could see the tiny droplets of water as they trickled down my veins…I was thirsty. I could reach them but I pulled myself back. I was not thirsty. I could not be. It was only a dream.

The room was dark except for the light coming in through the ventilator. I loved the murky darkness that filled the room…but beyond that I did not know a thing. I did not know where I was. But somehow, I knew that I existed and I have existed for as long as I can remember.

Those cruel monsters, they laugh at me. They think I am mad. There is none that believes me. She is…she is only a little girl…they can’t see her cry, they are blind. She is bleeding…that poor little thing, somebody please help her! They are laughing…those beasts! I know she needs my help and I have to help her…

 I was crawling…I could see the light outside…I was close…very close to the ventilator. I knew I could make it but, I was stopped short by a bullet that hit me in my chest and I died.

Moments later, I opened my eyes. I had been unconscious for a long time, I told myself. The cell was still dark. I looked at the ventilator and I knew that it was the dream. It was not real. I laughed. My laughter echoed through the walls of the cell. I laughed again. It was not real, I reminded myself… My body was aching…I could not move…but I knew that the pain was temporary. It would soon pass away.

Light shone in through the ventilator. It was another day. The cell was darker than usual. The pain had passed away. It was indeed temporary. The girl had stopped crying.

Note – This post had first appeared in another blog of mine – ‘Through a Kaleidoscope’; that blog, at present, is defunct.


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Psychedelia

Being indecisive is the worst form of depravity.

It is like being stuck in limbo…or a time warp. You pray, you wait for a sign to show you the way. You see miracles but they ignore you. You hope; your lamp burns out. You protest, you lose your sleep. You rebel or at most, you give up… You seek motivation, you seek help; it is your hand alone that reaches out. You cry foul, you plan revenge…you try to break free, you try to break out. You see the angels, they are here to take you home. Your tilted hour glass, your memory frozen in time… a distant Moonlight Sonata, a hallucinating mind. You are tired; you see…your soul needs rest.

You drown yourself in your glass of wine; your burnt pride; that helpless red in your eyes are all yours to keep. Who are you trying to kill? Immortal apathy never dies.

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